SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 10

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 10

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What would you ask for if a genie granted you three wishes?

(1) that cancer would cease to exist
(2) that all weapons would cease to exist
(3) that all people would suddenly develop tolerance, understanding, and love toward each other

I might need more than one genie to pull these off.

What experiences are most meaningful to you?

My first reaction was to say that things I do with other people (e.g., conversations, sharing meals) are the most meaningful. But I instantly realized that some experiences that I do all alone, usually away from other people, are just as meaningful (e.g., journal writing, thinking, writing, imagining).

I guess that I’d say the experiences that are the most meaningful are those that allow me to grow personally, intellectually, and spiritually.

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

In high school I wanted to be a doctor. I hadn’t thought about that in a long time. I guess I don’t have too many regrets that my aspiration didn’t come to pass, as I never look back on my life now and wonder what it would have been like if I had become a doctor.

I did, however, go back to school in my later years and earn my Ph.D. at age 63. Not the same kind of doctor, but for me, now, probably a more meaningful achievement.

Complete this sentence: The best day of my life was….

I’m pretty sure everybody else’s first inclination was the same as mine: to say “the day I got married” or “the day my child was born.” But in my case, I think the most meaningful day of my life was the day I went away to college.

I spent my adolescence in a dysfunctional family situation. For six years I told myself that I just had to hold on until I went away to college. The day I finally left was the day I began my real life, the life in which I could seek out new experiences, make my own choices and decisions, and get away from constant verbal abuse and humiliation. Everything else that followed in my life, including marriage and parenthood, was a result of learning how to become my own person.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Yes, I say this every week. Last week was a good one, and this week I look forward to more of the same. Retirement is good. Every day is good. Sometimes I even lose track of what day of the week it is.

Enjoy your upcoming week, everyone!

© 2016 by Mary Daniels Brown

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 9

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 9

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Have you done something you truly want to do today?

Yes indeed. I’ve written my answers to these questions. Since I started doing this weekly challenge as a way to kickstart my writing, every time I complete the exercise I’m doing something I want to do.

What can you help the world with?

I don’t imagine I can do anything that will have global impact, but I think I can make a difference in the world one individual at a time.

In a recent Share Your World post I wrote about how people who need to talk seem to find me, as if by magic. I think of that as my mission in life—to be around to give a sympathetic ear to people who need it.

If life was ‘just a bowl of cherries’… which fruit other than a cherry would you be..?

pineapple slices

I’d probably be a spear of ripe fresh pineapple: just a little bit of tang with a large dollop of sweetness underneath.

Quotes List: At least three of your favorite quotes?

(1) “Good writing is the hardest form of thinking. It involves the agony of turning profoundly difficult thoughts into lucid form, then forcing them into the tight-fitting uniform of language, making them visible and clear. If the writing is good, then the result seems effortless and inevitable. But when you want to say something life-changing or ineffable in a single sentence, you face both the limitations of the sentence itself and the extent of your own talent.”

—Pat Conroy

(2) “What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.”

—Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

(3) “Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.”

—Chief Seattle

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Spring began to break out last week, when we had a couple of days of sun amidst all the rain. I look forward to more of the same, as more and more shrubs, trees, and flowers are beginning to bloom. I still love spring, despite the fact that it makes my eyes sting, my nose run, and my throat to clog up.

Happy spring, and have a good week, everyone!

© 2016 by Mary Daniels Brown

On Writing

The First Time I Got Paid for Doing It

In a terrific essay Linda Summersea describes the night she, a high school junior, received a check for her winning entry in Lions Clubs International’s annual World Peace Essay Contest.

All aspiring essay writers should read this not just for its encouragement but also for its demonstration of how details produce powerful writing.

How Mindfulness Can Transform Your Writing Life

The more I practice mindfulness in my personal life, the easier it is to translate this skill to my writing.

In this short piece Vanessa Carnevale describes how taking a deep breath and writing down an intention (to be deleted later) helps her produce her best writing.

7 Simple Hacks to Get Writing When You Just Can’t

Kellie McGann offers some advice on how to write on those days when you think you can’t. There’s nothing ground-breaking here, but I find it tremendously helpful to be frequently reminded of these approaches to getting words onto the page or computer screen.

Writing as Responsibility

Sara Jones acknowledges that as a writer she has a responsibility to create something for the larger good, “but also – and possibly most of all – for myself. I must own my responsibility in making sure that happens.”

Finding Myself in a Book

Kelly Haworth describes how writing the YA novel Y Negative helped her discover her own genderfluid identity:

Writing Y Negative changed my life. It taught me that these feelings and ideas I had experienced since I was in high school were not me “pretending I was crazy.” They were real and other people felt and experienced them too. Writing this book let me express the emotions of trying to figure everything out – the pain, the awkwardness and the strength – and I emerged on the other side knowing that this pendulum inside me, this duality of male and female was exactly who I was. I identify as genderfluid now… .

Books That I Finished in February

In an effort to reach my reading goal of 40 books this year, I’m going to start keeping track here of the books I finish each month. Although I keep this information in a database program, it will be easier for me to see if I make each month’s quota.

My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout
Recommended

lucy bartonMany years later, first-person narrator Lucy Barton recalls the time her mother visited her in the hospital. Lucy spent nine weeks hospitalized after an appendectomy because of a fever the doctor couldn’t figure out and couldn’t eliminate. Up until that time Lucy had had little contact with her mother since leaving home as a young woman.

Her mother stays for five days, during which the two women gossip about the lives of several people in Lucy’s small, rural hometown. These stories provide a round-about way of discussing what life is all about and how people treat each other. Lucy never does confront her mother with the question she most needs an answer to—why her mother allowed some unspecified “thing” (suggestions of physical and/or sexual abuse)—happen. Yet before her mother unceremoniously leaves to return home, Lucy has come to terms with the insatiable desire for a mother’s love and the fragile nature of memory.

The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
Highly Recommended

house-of-mirthThis was the February selection of my in-person classics book club. Published in 1905, it was Wharton’s first novel. It portrays New York high-society life at the turn of the twentieth century.

The novel tells the story of beautiful Lily Bart. At age 29, 11 years after she made her debut into society, Lily is well past the time when she should have found a suitable, meaning rich, husband. Born into society but forced to its margins by her father’s financial ruin, Lily must find a husband to provide the dresses, jewels, houses, prestige, and power she needs to maintain her place in society.

A life outside of the social circuit is something Lily cannot even consider. As her finances dwindle, so do her opportunities and her reputation. This novel deftly portrays the lives of people for whom appearance is everything, and the fate of people, like Lily, who are unable to play the game successfully.

Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Connor

writing down your soulAnyone interested in journal writing will appreciate Janet Connor’s story of how, at the darkest point of her life, she discovered a way to tap into her own inner strength through writing.

Although her practice involves writing in a journal, she insists that it differs from standard journal writing because of these four characteristics: intention, purpose, process, and commitment. Connor mines the scientific literature of mind-body medicine to explain how writing that combines these four elements can put us in touch with our own inner wisdom by shifting our consciousness and realigning the brain’s neural pathways. She then lays out a four-step approach for accessing that wisdom.

I felt that the book contained much repetition and padding. Nonetheless, it does offer detailed instructions—even though perhaps, in places, too detailed—for anyone interested in giving Connor’s system a try.

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
Highly Recommended

a-little-lifeThis big-hearted book contains so much humanity that I’m going to be thinking about it for a while before attempting to write a review. It’s one of the most affecting books I’ve ever read. As much as I love literature, I can’t remember the last time a book actually brought me to tears.

If you’re going to read only one novel this year, make it this one. It’s long at 800+ pages, but spend the time to read it slowly and savor it.

Slow Reading by John Miedema

slow readingMiedema put this book together from research for a graduate course in library and information science. He defines slow reading as a voluntary practice done to increase enjoyment and comprehension of a text, a process that some people describe as “getting lost in a book.”

Miedema is discussing the reading of fiction here. Here are a few quotations:

“A fictional work provides a sand box for imagining other identities and choices”(p. 56).

“Children can use fiction as a testing ground for their future selves. Is there any reason to stop this process when we reach adulthood? It is sad and a bit creepy to watch those adults who cease to imagine. It is as if their inner landscape is withering” (p. 57).

”Slow readers have a particular capacity to open up to new ideas, and allow the sense of self to be transformed” (p. 62).

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Year-to date total of books read: 7

© 2016 by Mary Daniels Brown

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 8

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 8

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What household chore do you absolutely hate doing?

Am I allowed to just say “housework in general?”

If I have to choose just one chore, it would be cleaning the bathroom shower. I only say this because the last time I got down on my knees to scrub the back of the shower, my knees audibly creaked and then I couldn’t get back up.

What was the last URL that you bookmarked?

I haven’t bookmarked a web page in a very long time because my bookmarks list got so big and convoluted that I couldn’t find anything anyway. I still occasionally look at my bookmark list if I’m trying to find something specific, but now, when I come across something on the web that I want to use, I copy the URL in the browser and then paste it into a document in Scrivener. This method allows me to collect all those wonderful articles I want to use to write a specific blog post.

Close your eyes. Listen to your body. What part of your body is seeking attention? What is it telling you?

My bladder is softly saying, “Empty me.” If I don’t listen to it now, before I know it, it will begin to scream at me. But when I’m writing, I do so hate to be interrupted by such mundane tasks as going to the bathroom.

(I hope this doesn’t make me a potty mouth.)

Would you rather have a two-bedroom apartment in a big city of your choosing or a mansion in the country side in the state or country where you currently live?

I’d go for the mansion if it come with all the help necessary to care for it. (I hate housework; see question #1.)

bookshelves in my officeDownsizing to a retirement cottage forced me to get rid of some of my books. I still find myself going to the bookcase to pull out a book I know I have, only to realize that it didn’t make the move. So if I had a mansion, I’d have all the book space I need.

However, I wouldn’t want to be TOO far out into the country. I like living near services I need, such as book stores and libraries, banks and post offices, and grocery stores.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?*

Last week we had several days of glorious sunshine, and flowers began to appear all over town. I’d like some more of that for next week.

AND, on Monday morning I have to report for jury duty. I’ve never served on a jury before, and I think it would be a marvelous learning experience. I’m hoping I’ll get chosen to sit on a jury. But if I don’t get chosen, I’ll have plenty of time to read while sitting around waiting to be called. Overall, it’s a win-win situation.

Have a good week, everybody!

© 2016 by Mary Daniels Brown

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 7

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 7

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What are you a “natural” at doing?

I seem to be a naturally good listener. Ever since I can remember, people have come to me to talk about their problems. And not just people whom I know well. The person sitting next to me on an airplane, the stranger in the same aisle at the grocery story, a woman I knew only from a weekly choral group—all of these people have laid their problems on me.

What I’ve learned from all these experiences is that these people are not seeking advice. No, they just need to talk the problem through for themselves, and someone whom they don’t know and whom they’ll never see again makes the perfect sounding board.

Would you prefer a one floor house or multiple levels?

Now that we’ve retired to a one-floor house, I’m glad. I spent almost my entire adult life in a two-story house, which involved three floors if you count (which I definitely do!) running up from and down to the basement to do laundry. If we hadn’t relocated for retirement, we most likely would have remained in that house for at least several more years, but now that we’ve moved to a one-floor house with a laundry room, my knees are grateful.

What was your favorite subject in school?

In grade school, I probably liked reading the best, but then in grade school I loved almost every subject. In high school, English and Latin were my favorites. I liked Latin so much that I got my B.A. and M.A. in it, since I couldn’t imagine a semester when I didn’t take a Latin course.

Complete this sentence: If only the rain…

“If only the rain would let up for just a little while” (spoken with a heavy sigh).

We get a lot of rain here in the Pacific Northwest. However, I should knock on wood, since as I’m typing this, the sun has come out. Quick! Let’s run outside!

I hope everyone has a good week.

© 2016 by Mary Daniels Brown

Psychology Round-Up

The Six Most Interesting Psychology Papers of 2015

See why Maria Konnikova chose these six papers to feature in The New Yorker:

(1) “Estimating the Reproducibility of Psychological Science,” from Science
(2) “What Works in Inpatient Traumatic Brain Injury Rehabilitation?,” from Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation
(3) “Best Friends and Better Coping: Facilitating Psychological Resilience Through Boys’ and Girls’ Closest Friendships,” from British Journal of Psychology
(4) “Nonpharmacological Treatments of Insomnia for Long-Term Painful Conditions,” from Sleep
(5) “A Mechanistic Link Between Olfaction and Autism Spectrum Disorder,” in Current Biology
(6) “Fibroblast Growth Factor 9 Is a Novel Modulator of Negative Affect,” from PNAS

Don’t let the titles scare you. Konnikova summarizes the importance of this research, which covers topics such as insomnia, traumatic brain injury, and depression.

Being happy won’t make you live longer, study finds

I’ve seen a lot of advice articles that maintain making yourself happy will help you live longer. But here’s a report on a new study that concludes ““happiness and related measures of well-being do not appear to have any direct effect on mortality.”

The brain’s miracle superpowers of self-improvement

Here’s a comprehensive look at the controversial concept of “neuroplasticity, which is what we call the brain’s ability to change itself in response to things that happen in our environment.”

Neuroplasticity has its evangelists, such as psychologist Ian Robertson:

neuroplasticity really is a remarkable thing. “What we do know is that almost everything we do, all our behaviour, thoughts and emotions, physically change our brains in a way that is underpinned by changes in brain chemistry or function,” says Robertson. “Neuroplasticity is a constant feature of the very essence of human behaviour.” This understanding of the brain’s power, he says, opens up new techniques for treating a potentially spectacular array of illnesses. “There’s virtually no disease or injury, I believe, where the potential doesn’t exist for very intelligent application of stimulation to the brain via behaviour, possibly combined with other stimulation.”

Yet other scientists warn that the results of neuroplasticity therapy may be less dramatic than they are often portrayed as:

It’s perhaps understandable why crazy levels of hope are raised when people read tales of apparently miraculous recovery from brain injury that feature people seeing again, hearing again, walking again and so on. These dramatic accounts can make it sound as if anything is possible. But what’s usually being described, in these instances, is a very specific form of neuroplasticity – functional reorganisation – which can happen only in certain circumstances. “The limits are partly architectural,” says Greg Downey. “Certain parts of the brain are better at doing certain kinds of thing, and part of that comes simply from where they are.”

Still, neuroplasticity has produced results in many areas for which there previously were only limited options. Read this article to learn how neuroplasticity works and what it can and cannot accomplish.

False Memories: How false memories are created and can affect our ability to recall events

Your memories of past events may not be as accurate as you think it is. This article discusses “how false memories are created, the impact of questioning, language and other factors on our recall and the real life consequences of false memories.”

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 6

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 6

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This week’s questions are from Inside the Actors’ Studio:

Inside the Actors Studio is an American television show on the Bravo cable television channel, hosted by James Lipton. It is produced and directed by Jeff Wurtz; the executive producer is James Lipton. The program, which premiered in 1994, is distributed internationally by CABLEready and is broadcast in 125 countries around the world reaching 89 million homes. It is currently taped at the Michael Schimmel Center for the Arts at Pace University’s New York City campus.

(1) What is your favorite word?

equanimity (I’m also quite fond of ululation)

(2) What is your least favorite word?

Spork. It just sounds so gruff.

(3) What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Mount Rainier
Waves washing onto the shore
A good novel

(4) What turns you off?

Inaccurate or incomplete information
People who try to sound like experts but really pass on inaccurate or incomplete information
Closemindedness
Prejudice
Lack of critical thinking

(5) What is your favorite curse word?

Courtesy of Helen Mirren in Prime Suspect: “Bloody hell!”

(6) What sound or noise do you love?

Waves washing onto the shore
Birds
Babbling brooks

(7) What sound or noise do you hate?

Angry words, especially when thrown at children

(8) What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Opera diva

(9) What profession would you not like to do?

Corporate manager (any position that would require me to hold weekly departmental meetings

(10) If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“You lived a good life full of kindness and humility. Well done.”

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I got a lot of reading and writing done this past week. I hope I’ll be able to get as much done in the upcoming week.

Have a good week, everyone!

© 2016 by Mary Daniels Brown

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 5

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2016 WEEK 5

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If you had a shelf for your three most special possessions (not including photos, electronic devices and things stored on them, people or animals), what would you put on it?

(1) a candle, preferably purple, that I light before writing in my journal to signify intention
(2) a prayer bowl made by a potter who belonged to one of my book clubs that signifies unity with the earth and all of nature
(3) my current journal, which holds my aspirations and testifies to the healing power of honest writing

If you had a box labelled ‘happiness’, what would you put in it?

See answers to the question above.

Then add: my husband, my daughter, and all the books on my TBR shelves.

What do you want more of in your life?

Time. For reading, writing, thinking, spending with friends and family, smiling, loving. Oh yes, time for exercising, too.

Daily Life List: What do you do on an average day? Make a list of your usual activities you do each day.

Wake up without having set an alarm.
Get showered and dressed.
Make coffee.
Write in my journal.
Post to Literature & Psychology.
Check Facebook and Twitter.
Read news online.
Read (a book) and/or work on my essay writing.
Have dinner with my husband.
Watch some TV or read some more until bedtime.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Yesterday a group of us went on our monthly Lunch Bunch excursion. This month’s restaurant was Mexican, called the best Mexican restaurant in Tacoma by people who know more than I. I’m not a huge fan of Mexican food because I don’t do spicy, especially peppery, but the spinach quesadilla I had was mild and very good. And I do appreciate a good Margarita.

Next week we will be taking a tour of the Washington State Capitol building in Olympia, WA. This is a trip we’ve been asking for for quite some time, and I’m glad that it’s about to occur. And there will be lunch after the tour, so what’s not to like?

I hope everyone has a good week!

The things that are saving my life right now

Anne over at Modern Mrs. Darcy recently suggested listing The things that are saving my life right now. Here’s her explanation of this idea:

The idea comes from author Barbara Brown Taylor. In her memoir Leaving Church, Taylor tells about a time she was invited to speak, and her host assigned her this topic: “Tell us what is saving your life right now.”

It’s easy and often tempting to rattle off a bunch of things that are killing us: “My sore feet are killing me.” “All this snow is killing me.” “I have a couple of clients right now who are trying to kill me.”

Yes, we complain a lot when things are going badly. But what we may fail to notice is all the things that are going well. It’s easy to pull our hair, look skyward, and yell, “Why me?” when we feel overwhelmed. But we almost never ask “Why me?” when things go well. We accept the good things as our due without acknowledging them.

So Modern Mrs. Darcy’s challenge is a chance to set things right, to appreciate the good things as well as the bad. She has invited us to put together our list and post a link to it over at her blog.

Here are some things that are saving me right now.

A little bit of sunshine

Winter can get pretty dreary here in the Pacific Northwest of the USA. But last week we had a few periods when the sun actually broke through. A little bit of sun doesn’t mean that the day won’t also include some rain, but just those fleeting periods of sunshine improved my mood and reminded me of the promise of spring and summer, which are truly glorious here.

Still crazy after all these years

My husband is one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever known. And he loves me. ME! Out of the whole big wide world, he chose me to spend life with. I still marvel at this miracle every single day.

Getting to know our daughter

Our daughter was born and grew up in St. Louis, MO. She left there for college in Tacoma, WA (University of Puget Sound), fell in love with the area, and never came back. We visited enough to know that we, too, loved the area and decided to retire here. And here we are! We have enjoyed immensely seeing our daughter more than once a year and being able to spend holidays together. Since she left home right after high school, we never really spent much time with her as an adult. Getting to know the woman she has become continues to be extremely gratifying.

A brighter world

I had cataract surgery on both my eyes last fall, and since then the world has been a much brighter place. Cataracts smothered my vision so gradually that I didn’t notice it for a long time. But when I realized that I could no longer appreciate subtle differences in colors, I knew it was time for me to do something about it. After I had the first eye done, I would frequently cover one eye and look through the other one. I could not believe the vast difference between the eye with the new lens and the one without. And now that both eyes have new lenses, my reading glasses require a much milder prescription than before. I am so looking forward to seeing all the flowers this spring and summer.

Retirement

What a luxury it is to be able to choose what I want to do and when I want to do it (and to choose to not do many things I don’t want to do). Having relocated to a different part of the country for our retirement has given us a whole new world of stuff to learn about it. Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store.

Travel planning

We didn’t take much time to travel when we were younger. Life was just always too busy. To make up for that, we have committed to traveling frequently in our early retirement years, while we can still move around fairly easily. There are just so many interesting places to visit, so many peoples and countries to learn about, so much glorious nature to see.

Books

There are so many good books out there that I haven’t read yet. Finishing one and picking up another is one of the true joys of my life.

Silver and gold

Make new friends but keep the old.
One is silver and the other’s gold.

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I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot, but all of these things remind me how good my life is. I look forward to checking out other peoples’ lists on the Modern Mrs. Darcy website.

What about you? What things are saving your life right now?